Willingness To Listen

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
"None of them", she told him.
What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?

Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s willingness to listen to her in the middle of the night.

A world in which there was someone ready to listen to another's pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of listening is the greatest gift we can give.

Listen to Everyone.

Dilemma In Life

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other not.

Only one child played on the unused track, the rest on the operational track.

A train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the unused track and save most of the kids.

However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the unused track would be sacrificed.

Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make................

have u thought enough !!!!

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. Save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally.

But, have you ever thought that the child chose to play on the unused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.

This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the RIGHT is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how far-sighted and knowledgeable the wise are.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track were aware that the track was still in use, and that they would run away when they hear the train's sirens.

Now, If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never expects that a train could come over on the unused track!

Further, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to such a track, we may put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in our attempt to save few kids thinking that the train may run over them, we might end up sacrificing hundreds of people.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decision may not always be the right one.

"What's Right isn't always popular..

and what's popular isn't always Right."

Take your own time...
Have a thoughtful life...

Living of Life

The last words of Steve Jobs -
I have come to the pinnacle of success in business.
In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success.
However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.
At this time, lying on the hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death.
In the dark, when I look at green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration and feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.
Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth.
It should be something more important:
For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.
No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me.
I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love.
This is the true wealth that will follow you; will accompany you, he will give strength and light to go ahead.
Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands.
What is the world's most expensive bed?  The hospital bed.
You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car, but you cannot hire someone to take your illness that is killing you.
Material things lost can be found. But one thing you can never find when you lose: life.
Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls.

Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends...
Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbors.

Triple Filter

One day a person met the great Chanakya,  and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Chanakya replied.

"Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Chanakya continued.

"Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.

The first filter is Truth.

Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."

"All right," said Chanakya. "So you don't know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.

Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Chankaya continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true.

You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left, the filter of Usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded chankaya, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

Use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near and dear ones.

It is worth applying in everyone's life.

Always speak what is worth...
Speak what is good...
Filter Yourself...
Be true....
Live Happy Always....

Imaginary Rope

A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie  the third one.
He saw a sage and sought his help if he could give him a rope to tie the third donkey. The sage did not have a rope but had a suggestion.
He told the farmer, “let the third donkey see you tying the other two donkeys to a tree.  Then you pretend to tie this one also”.
The farmer did as he was told and went for a dip in the river. Coming back, he thanked the sage and saw that the donkeys stood exactly at the same spot where he had left them.
He untied the two donkeys and patted the third one to start moving. After going a little distance, imagine his surprise when the third donkey stood still at the same spot.
Cajoling, kicking or talking did not help with the donkey, refusing to move from the spot. The farmer went back to sage, who told him, “untie the third donkey”.
“But”, protested the farmer, “I have not tied him”. The sage asked, “You know it. But does the donkey know that?”
Sure enough the farmer went back and pretended to untie the donkey. The donkey moved immediately as though released and walked over to join the other two donkeys.

Moral of the story :
We are all, also tied up by too many  imaginary ropes…… which are really non-existent. The only truth is there are no boundaries in real life and anyone can stretch to any extent. Don’t we all see records being broken, every time, everywhere and every day?
Our mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except with our permission. Hence before beginning this day let us see what we can do with our minds.

Live Life your Best.....

Think Different

Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag.If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.

What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.

Secret Help

My boss drove a luxury car everyday and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.
One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn’t bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.
Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.

One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn’t get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.
It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.

After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!
Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn’t I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!

His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I’m really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn’t know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I’m crying because I’ve finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.
From that day on wards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn’t reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”
Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.
Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.
There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear.
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Wish You Enough

Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough.  Your love is all I ever needed.  I wish you enough, too, Dad.'
They kissed and the daughter left.  The Father walked over to the window where I was seated.  Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry.  I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'
'Yes, I have,' I replied.  'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'..
'I am old, and she lives so far away.  I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' he said.
'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough..'  May I ask what that means?'
He began to smile.  'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations.  My parents used to say it to everyone...'  He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.'  Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
He then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.

TAKE TIME TO LIVE....
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH.

Passion For Dream

This was told by Dr. Rajdeep Manwani  who happened to be Dravid's classmate.

My Respect for RAHUL DRAVID HAS GONE UP BY SEVERAL NOTCHES...

"Rahul Dravid never attended classes regularly. He was always seen practising in the nets. One day he came to class and started writing notes with his  gloves on.We were feeling uncomfortable seeing him writing with the gloves. I don't know how he might have felt. Everyone was  laughing, talking, whispering, Rahul Dravid continued writing for that full hour.
After one hour was over, I and Rahul Dravid had a common friend ,Adarsh,
so he came up to Adarsh and said,
''Adarsh, Can I borrow your accounts notes because exams are  nearing and I haven't written many notes. So can I borrow it and xerox it and give it to you back''
Adarsh replied  ''Rahul ,I'll give you the notes but could you tell me why were you wearing gloves on? You came to class wearing gloves and you continued wearing it, you were wearing the gloves even when the teacher was  dictating notes, Is it to impress Anupama?(Anupama was the most beautiful girl in their class!).
Rahul Dravid said ''No...no ,she is already impressed, I don't have to impress her.''

''Then why did you wear the  gloves through all this time?''I asked

Rahul Dravid said to  me something that day which is very interesting.

He replied ''You know something Adarsh ,the last two Ranji matches which I played, I had the old gloves and the old gloves were very loose. So because the gloves were loose, when the bowler bowled , the ball just went past my gloves and it created the snick sound. The wicket keeper caught it, he appealed and both the times even though I didn't touch the ball, I was given caught behind. I thought to myself ' no this can't continue' and  so ,I bought  these  gloves and I want to get accustomed to wearing these new gloves. I want my hands to sweat into these new gloves .  So for the next 48 hours, I  will wear  these gloves continuously because the next Ranji match which is a semifinal, is in two days. I want my hands to sweat in and get adjusted to the gloves. I am not going to remove the gloves even when I am sleeping,even when I am eating,even when I am coming to class because I want to do well in the next match and I want my hands to be comfortable in those gloves".

The very next match, that was their semifinals against Saurashtra  and he scored a century. In the finals,Karnataka played against Delhi that year, he scored another century and based on those two performances he got selected for the Indian cricket team which went to England, and surprisingly in the first test match in England, he scored 90 odd runs(England vs India, 2nd Test ) when Sourav Ganguly scored century and the rest as they say is history.

There are two important lessons I learnt from that incident.

One,  passion , if you want to excel in anything  in life ,there has to be  a passion, Rahul was willing to wear those gloves for 48 hours whether it was uncomfortable or it was hot. He was sweating in those gloves but he was willing to wear those gloves for 48 hours continuously because he wanted to excel in what he wanted to do and the second important thing was responsibility.
He took responsibility on himself for his own performance, I have never seen Rahul complain a single  time neither did  he argue against any Umpire decision. He never said  for one once  that the wicket keeper is so unethical. He knew that he didn't touch the ball,  even then they  appealed and he got out. He took responsibility for his own life. He had a very strong internal locus of control. Internal locus of control simply means that I will not blame the external circumstances for what is there in my life, I will take responsibility for what is happening in my life. He took responsibility, what can I do to change the situation. Forget the  Umpiring decisions that has gone wrong, forget what wicket keeper has done but what can I do to make the situation better and the only thing I can do is to change my gloves and perform to the best of my ability.  

Shark for Life

जापान में हमेशा से ही मछलियाँ खाने का
 एक ज़रुरी हिस्सा रही हैं । और ये जितनी
ताज़ी होतीं हैँ लोग उसे उतना ही पसंद करते
हैं । लेकिन जापान के तटों के आस-पास
इतनी मछलियाँ नहीं होतीं की उनसे लोगोँ
की डिमांड पूरी की जा सके । नतीजतन
 मछुआरों को दूर समुंद्र में जाकर मछलियाँ
पकड़नी पड़ती हैं।जब इस तरह से मछलियाँ
पकड़ने की शुरुआत हुई तो मछुआरों के
सामने एक गंभीर समस्या सामने आई ।

वे जितनी दूर मछली पक़डने जाते उन्हें
लौटने मे उतना ही अधिक समय लगता
और मछलियाँ बाजार तक पहुँचते-पहुँचते
बासी हो जातीँ , ओर फिर कोई उन्हें खरीदना
नहीं चाहता ।इस समस्या से निपटने के लिए
मछुआरों ने अपनी बोट्स पर फ्रीज़र लगवा
लिये । वे मछलियाँ पकड़ते और उन्हें फ्रीजर
 में डाल देते ।

इस तरह से वे और भी देर तक मछलियाँ
पकड़ सकते थे और उसे बाजार तक पहुंचा
सकते थे । पर इसमें भी एक समस्या आ
 गयी । जापानी फ्रोजेन फ़िश ओर फ्रेश
फिश में आसनी से अंतर कर लेते और
फ्रोजेन मछलियों को खरीदने से कतराते ,
उन्हें तो किसी भी कीमत पर ताज़ी मछलियाँ
ही चाहिए होतीं ।एक बार फिर मछुआरों ने
इस समस्या से निपटने की सोची और
इस बार एक शानदार तरीका निकाला ,
.उन्होंने अपनी बड़ी – बड़ी जहाजों पर
फ़िश टैंक्स बनवा लिए ओर अब वे
मछलियाँ पकड़ते और उन्हें पानी से
भरे टैंकों मे डाल देते ।

टैंक में डालने के बाद कुछ देर तो
मछलियाँ इधर उधर भागती पर जगह
 कम होने के कारण वे जल्द ही एक
जगह स्थिर हो जातीं ,और जब ये मछलियाँ
बाजार पहुँचती तो भले वे ही सांस ले रही
होतीं लकिन उनमेँ वो बात नहीं होती जो
आज़ाद घूम रही ताज़ी मछलियों मे होती ,
ओर जापानी चखकर इन मछलियों में भी
अंतर कर लेते ।

तो इतना कुछ करने के बाद भी समस्या
जस की तस बनी हुई थी।अब मछुवारे
क्या करते ? वे कौन सा उपाय लगाते कि
ताज़ी मछलियाँ लोगोँ तक पहुँच पाती ?नहीं,
उन्होंने कुछ नया नहीं किया , वें अभी भी
 मछलियाँ टैंक्स में ही रखते , पर इस बार
वो हर एक टैंक मे एक छोटी सी शार्क
मछली भी ङाल देते।

शार्क कुछ मछलियों को जरूर खा जाती
पर ज्यादातर मछलियाँ बिलकुल ताज़ी
पहुंचती।ऐसा क्यों होता ? क्योंकि शार्क
बाकी मछलियों की लिए एक चैलेंज की
तरह थी। उसकी मौज़ूदगी बाक़ी मछलियों
को हमेशा चौकन्ना रखती ओर अपनी
जान बचाने के लिए वे हमेशा अलर्ट रहती।

इसीलिए कई दिनों तक टैंक में रह्ने के
बावज़ूद उनमे स्फूर्ति ओर ताजापन बना रहता।

आज बहुत से लोगों
की ज़िन्दगी टैंक मे पड़ी उन मछलियों
की तरह हो गयी है जिन्हे जगाने की लिए
कोई shark मौज़ूद नहीं है। और अगर
unfortunately आपके साथ भी ऐसा ही है
तो आपको भी आपने life में नये challenges
 accept करने होंगे।
 आप जिस रूटीन के आदि हों चुकें हैँ
ऊससे कुछ अलग़ करना होगा, आपको
 अपना दायरा बढ़ाना होगा और एक
 बार फिर ज़िन्दगी में रोमांच और नयापन
लाना होगा।

नहीं तो , बासी मछलियों की तरह आपका
 भी मोल कम हों जायेगा और लोग आपसे
मिलने-जुलने की बजाय बचते नजर आएंगे।

और दूसरी तरफ अगर आपकी लाइफ
में चैलेंजेज हैँ , बाधाएं हैँ तो उन्हें कोसते
मत रहिये , कहीं ना कहीं ये आपको fresh
and lively बनाये रखती हैँ , इन्हेँ
accept करिये, इन्हे overcome करिये
और अपना  तेज बनाये रखिये।👍⁠⁠⁠⁠