Contact And Conenction

It was April 2009.   I was returning from Delhi by flight with a monk of the RamaKrishna Mission sitting next to me and a journalist from the US sitting on the third seat . The journalist started
interviewing  the monk as planned earlier.

Journalist - Sir , in your last lecture, you  told us about Jogajog ( contact ) &  Sanjog (connection ). It's really confusing. Can you explain ?

The Monk smiled and apparently deviating from the question   asked the journalist:Are you from New York?
Journalist - Yeh...
Monk - Who are there at home ?
The Journalist felt that the  Monk was trying to avoid answering his question since  this was a very personal and unwarranted question. Yet the  journalist  said:    "Mother has expired. Father is there. Three brothers and one sister. All married..."
The Monk, with a smile on his  face,   asked again: - "Do you talk to your father?"
The  journalist looked visibly annoyed...
The Monk  - "When did you talk to him last?"
The journalist, supressing his annoyance said:  "May be a month ago."
The Monk:  "Do you brothers and sisters meet often ? When did you meet last as a family gathering?"

At this point, I saw  sweat on the forehead ok the journalist. I wondered who was conducting the interview, the Monk or the Journalist. It seemed that the   Monk was interviewing the Journalist.

With a sigh , the Journalist said: "We met last at Christmas two  years  ago."
The Monk: " How many days did you all stay together ?"

The Journalist ( wiping the sweat on his brow) said : "Three days..."
Monk: "How much time did you  spend with your Father, sitting right  beside him ?"
I saw the journalist looking  perplexed and embarassed and scribbling something on a paper...
The Monk:  "Did you have breakfast, lunch or dinner together ? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother's death ?"
I saw drops of tears coming out from the eyes of the journalist.

The Monk held the hand of the journalist and said: "Don't be embrassed, upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly...
But this is basically the answer to your question about "contact and connection ( jogajog and Sanjog)".  You have 'contact'  with your father but you don't have 'connection' with him. You are not connected to him. Connection is between heart and heart... sitting together , sharing meals and caring for  each other ; touching , shaking hands, having eye contact,  spending some time together...You  brothers and sisters have 'contact'  but you have no  'connection' with each other...."

The journalist wiped his eyes and said : "Thanks for teaching me a fine and unforgettable lesson"

This is the reality today.
Whether at home or in the society everybody has lots of contacts but there is no connection. No communication...   . Everybody is in his or her own world.

Let us not maintain just "contacts" but let us remain "connected" ; caring , sharing and spending time with all our dear ones.


- Unknown

Youth In You

Before leaving for abroad for the first time to preach Hinduism, Vivekanand's mother wanted to know whether he is all perfect for this mission or not, she invited him for dinner. Vivekanand enjoyed the food that had the additional flavor of his mother's special love and affection. After the delicious dinner, Vivekanand's mother offered Vivekanand a dish of fruits and a knife. Vivekanand cut the fruit, ate it and after that his mother said, "Son, can you please give me the knife, I need it." Vivekanand immediately responded by giving the knife.
Vivekanand's mother calmly said, "Son, you have passed my test and I heartily bless you for going abroad." Vivekanand surprisingly asked, "Mother, how did you test me? I did not understand."
Mother replied, "Son, when I asked for the knife, I saw how you handed it to me, you gave the knife by holding its sharp edge and kept the wooden handle of knife towards me. This way, I would not get hurt when I take it and this means you took care of me. And this was your test in which you passed.
The person who thinks of others welfare rather than thinking about self has got the right of preaching the world and you have got that right. You have all my blessings."

This was the most important mark he left in the hearts of many he met in his lifetime - to think of others before thinking for self.

Moral: There are some qualities which draw the difference between a common man & an uncommon man. To think about the welfare of everyone falls under an extraordinary quality. The true noble person is the one who thinks of others' happiness even if it is in little matters to our day to day life. The one who thinks of himself alone is considered selfish & will not be valued by the world in the long run. It is the law of nature that as the bigger hearted & noble you are, the more you will keep receiving & as the narrower minded you become, the less you will receive.

Swami Vivekananda ( Jan 12, 1863 - July 04, 1902)

National Youth Day.
Everyone is Youth, until he feels so to be old.

I Will Improve

Little Aditya, was in tears. He is an 8 year old boy. His Mom was shouting at him, as he has not completed his math homework, even after an hour. Aditya's parents are Ruchi, and Rishi. Both are working in MNC's. Ruchi took a career break of 5 years, to take care of Aditya. Now, she had joined her office again from a junior level, whereas all her friends have moved to the senior level. When Rishi, entered the home, Aditya was in tears, Ruchi was shouting at him. “What is 8 * 6, Adi, come on, I taught you tables twice yesterday, still you are unable to remember. What am I supposed to do? You remember all cartoon stories, but not one simple tables”.
Aditya tried to remember a lot, he couldn't remember anything, and he thought it may be 48, but he was scared to tell his mom, what if it is wrong, she will get upset. He thought to himself, “Mom, I will Improve”. He didn’t know how. He wanted to, he wanted to see his mother happy.
When, he was in the younger classes, He used to win, many prizes in different competitions. He and his mother were very happy. As he grew up, suddenly he felt he was pushed in a complex world, he couldn't grasp many things, and his fellow students could do. He went to meet doctors and counselors, his mother thought he was sick. He was not sure whether he was sick or not. May be he has a poor memory like his mom and teachers say. He was not able to make a decision. Tonight, his father has come early from the office. He was happy. He will rescue him.
Soon as his father, freshened up, he gave a hug to Aditya. To Aadi’s relief, he said with a huge smile, “Go and play”. He was happy, but he looked at his mother with wide eyes, and said slowly,” Dad, I didn’t complete my homework!” His father, replied, “I will do it, don’t worry.” Aadi, again gave a bear hug and ran outside to play with his friends. Ruchi was upset. She retorted angrily,”Will you go and write his exams too?”
After Aditya left, Rishi, hugged Ruchi, “Why are you so tensed dear. He will pick up, don't worry”. Ruchi was upset,” Do you think you love him more than, me, what is the point you want to prove? You never attend the Parent Teachers Meeting, I have to listen from teachers, and I need to face the other parents. You just don't need to face anything”.
Rishi kept quiet, “Ruchi, do you think, by shouting at him, things would improve. You thought, he may have some learning disabilities, but the psychologist proved there is nothing like that. All children are not same”.Ruchi replied back, “But I am spending so much time with him. I am always teaching him, each and everything, still what do you expect me to do?”
Rishi, smiled and said,” I expect you, not to expect anything from him. Don’t expect him to learn things faster, don’t expect him to be like you.” Ruchi retorted back angrily,” I am not expecting him to get first prize in everything like me, but at least he shouldn’t be so dull. Now he is 3 rd std and he is not sure about 5*5=25, how his life will be. All his friends, will reach a good position in life, what his life will become? I am so scared. Rishi, I put in so much hard work on him, still why he is not getting marks?”
Rishi kept quiet. Ruchi, always wanted the best. She was always best in whatever she did, the fact she didn't understand is Aadi is the best child. He is very friendly with everyone, always tries to help others.He was hoping, Ruchi will find her answer soon.
After few days,his paternal aunt, Durga Bua, came to visit them. Her son has settled in US. She occasionally visits India,to visit her relatives. After many years, she has come to visit them. Ruchi loves Durga Bua, everyone loves her for her soft words and naive nature. She was playing with Aadi and commented to Ruchi, “Aadi is a very good boy”. For which Ruchi, replied in a dull voice.” Hmmmm”.she sensed something wrong, but didn’t ask anything.
After Aadi left, she asked, “what happened Ruchi?”. Ruchi shared her worries with her aunt. She listened everything carefully. She went to the small garden which Ruchi maintains in her balcony, and said,” I observe you have a beautiful garden. How do you maintain them? Ruchi replied happily,” I take personal care, bua”. Her aunt said, “Why is this aloe Vera plant, shorter than others, is it a new plant, or you are not watering them properly?” Ruchi whispered, “No, aunt, I have planted it a year back. I take care of them properly, few plants grow faster and few takes time”.
Then, aunt asked, “What do you do then? Do you tell the shorter plant, daily, grow up, look at the other plants, otherwise your life would be of no use or you nurture them slowly that it takes time in growing and you still love them”.

Ruchi felt something snap in her. She looked at her aunt, with tears in her eyes.
Durga Bua, said,” There are 7 types of learning skills for a child, few learn by looking, few by hearing, few by explaining, few understand things by doing activities, and few learn by practically doing the same things again and again. A mother or teacher should try to teach a child, all the 7 methods, and then understand the child’s best learning language and teach accordingly. You can’t think. Your child is dull. Each and every child is unique and special. Can’t you see Aadi is trying everything to make you happy? He loves you so much. If you nurture him now, it is good for both of you. If he accepts, he is dull and turns to be a loser, what will you do?”
Ruchi shuddered by the thought,” Understand your child and help him to understand things. I know you are very busy and Rishi doesn’t help you. Still I am sure, once you are clear and support, Aadi, Rishi will try his level best to help you. Just try. It is always too soon to quit with your child.”
Ruchi kept quiet, deep in her thoughts. Durga bua knew, she will find a different family, when she visits them again.

The Angry Monster

The Angry Monster In Me

Sometimes I do not get to do what I want.

Mommy, Daddy, my teacher or another adult often tell me what I should do.

Sometimes I can get really mad when I am told to do something I don’t want to do.

I may want to play 5 more minutes.

I may want something else to eat.

I may want to do something I am told I can not do.

When I am told I can’t do what I want I can get mad.

When I get mad I may start to growl.

When I get mad I may try to kick, hit or bite the person who is making me mad.

The feelings I have inside my body are really strong.

When I get really mad it is like I am an Angry Monster.

It is okay to be mad. Everybody gets mad sometimes.

But it is not okay to hurt anyone when I am mad.

Mommy, daddy, my teachers and other adults don’t hit each other when they get mad.

When I get mad there are several things I can try to do.

I can tell the adult I am with that I am mad.

I can jump up and down.

I can turn my arms into spaghetti.

If I am home I can go to my room and listen to my music.

I can go lay down in my sleeping bag and hide.

I can hit or kick or wrestle with my soft pillow.

I can ask for a really tight hug or to be rocked.

Finally, I can take a big breath, hold it, count to 10 and let it out slowly.

There are many people in my life who love me and want to help me control my anger.

I need to try really hard to notice when I am getting mad and chase the Angry Monster away.

Meaning of Life

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man.  College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?" "Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It' s been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment.

It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was the thing I value most," Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said.

"Anyways, I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life."

A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes! Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.
Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most ...was ... my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much that they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

5. You mean the world to someone.

6. If not for you, someone may not be living.

7. You are special and unique.

8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look; you most likely turned your back on the world.

11. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.

14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

If you send this letter to all the people you care about, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life... for the better.

To everyone I sent this: "Thank you for your time."


Take Care Everyone....
Have a peaceful life....

Most Important Part of Body!!!

My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer..

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, 'My ears, Mommy..'

She said, 'No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon..'

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer..

So this time I told her, 'Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes..'

She looked at me and told me, 'You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind..'

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, 'No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child..'

Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried..

I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry..

My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather..

She asked me, 'Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear??'

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me..

She saw the confusion on my face and told me, 'This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why..

But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson..'

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, 'My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder..'

I asked, 'Is it because it holds up my head??'

She replied, 'No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it..'

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others..

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did . But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel..

Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you always know they are there for you....

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